I have known Lloyd for just about a year now. We met while i was living in the house where the above incident took place and he quickly became a good friend of mine.
It's just after new years on a cold night in Reading. I'm a hour late for our meeting at Lloyd's house due to my drinking exploits the night before. Lloyd doesn't mind shaking my hand as I enter the house inviting me upstairs to his house to show me his pet rats and offering some advice on my own.
We sit down on his bed and casually chat about life in general while i work out how to use my Dictaphone, ending with Lloyd laughing "Did you not think to read the instructions?" With a broad smile on his face before laughing in the deep trademarked way.
Finally, after trying for five minutes, we get underway. He explained while taking a drag from his cigarette "I came from South Africa while i was 15 because my step-father was in alot of debt and wanted a new start." Laughing as he thinks of what he's about to say, he goes on "I wouldn't go back over there cause it harder to get a job then England. There is alot of trouble over there to. I remember my dad being hi-jacked and when one of the guys was in jail the other who kidnapped my dad visited him and was also arrested."
With a smile on his face Lloyd starts to talk about his recent time on Acid "I went shopping the next day while i was still tripping, and brought a pair of jeans that were really really shit. Like a really fucking awful pair of jeans."
With a glint of humor in his eyes I ask him to explain his reasons for taking these stronger drugs " I just like hallucinogenic drugs more. Their alot more fun." He carries on while stroking the rat thats come to join us on the bed "now anything I do is just for a bit of fun. I don't drink alot. Alot of people have tried Acid and Ketamine and prefer drinking. It's the same for me just i would rather the drugs."
Seemingly more relaxed then he was at the start of the interview Lloyd carries on talking about his memories of taking drugs "I think the most Ketamine i have done in one night is about four grams." He tells me with a smile on his face as he sits and tells me of the night "that night we watched Bottom on tape. And it was on fast forward. We thought we were tripping but as we came down we realised it wasn't right and someone had sat on the controller."
For the first time in our conversation i revert back to my notes and move the interview onto our main subject of conversation. "The first time i took Heroin I remember the night quite vividly. A mate came over and bought a bit of smack and I said that I wanted to try a bit," he continues while thinking thoughtfully, "me and my college friends had said we wanted to try it once and never got round to doing it. I smoked it and I didn't really get much form it. So i asked my friend to shoot me up and the rest of the night was a bit of a messy blur."
Lloyd's smile begins to fade for the first time and you can see him begin to think deeply about Heroin and the effects that it had on everyone around him. "I used to lie to my girlfriend about where i was going and got out of spending time with her so i could see my friends and carry on taking it more."
Lloyd witnessed first hand the overdose of a close friend. " He kept taking little hits rather then one big one and he must of just took a bit to much. He sat back on the sofa and we just thought he was gouging out but then he turned blue. James* slapped him to bring him round and i threw water on him, James put him in the recovery position and called the Ambulance." He says while taking more drags from his cigarette and fidgeting in his seat slightly more then normal indicating that remember these events make him feel uncomfortable.
"I just remember being outside. I just stayed out and waited for him to go to Hospital and then came in and just burst into tears and curled up on the floor" with a voice seemingly trembling and sound strained at the thought of the night.
You can see that thinking of the night bothers Lloyd but it was this experience that pushed him to clean up his drug use, "That was the night i stopped taking Heroin. I really thought it would wake us all up to the dangers. I don't wanna go through that again."
With a sound of defiance in his voice he exclaims, "I stopped shooting up any drugs after that. I actually really cleaned up and stopped taking alot of drugs altogether."
We begin to talk about the death of Lloyd's best mate who died a couple of months ago. With an ache in his voice he talks about his feelings on this, "I just feel disappointed. It was a crap way to go and i really miss him alot cause he was a really good friend and i lived with him for a few months in the squat. And it really bums me out that he had to take a hit that night when he was trying to clean up."
"It's actually his birthday tomorrow so i'm going to drink those bottles of cider in his name" as he smiles and points to three big bottles of cider sat by the bed.
As we finish talking about his friend and what happened you begin to see the old happyLloyd coming back, though still sounded hardened from his experiences he talks about how he feels about his old friends still taking the drugs and some just starting to. "That is the most disappointing thing. I can't comprehend why he would start it for no reason after our friends death." he proclaims loudly.
Talking about the what-ifs seem to move Lloyd " I just think what if it was me taking it at the squat and James was gouging out and no-one could help me. The what ifs are the things that keep me thinking i don't need it."
Coming to the end of our interview we begin to talk about the positives of the story Lloyd has told me. "The best times i had with my friend were the times we weren't really doing drugs. Watching bad horror films, talking bands and, well maybe having a spliff." In his voice you can hear Lloyd is torn up and really misses his friend.
You can see in his eyes that Lloyd has turned his life around, "I've taken a lot of good and bad experiences. I enjoyed the the good times on drugs and from the bad times i cleaned up, I stopped shooting up and stopped doing alot of drugs."
We realise that we have been talking for over an hour and as i have work i need to leave. I shake his hand and thank him for his time and happy as the day i met him he tells me its all fine and sees me out.
As i walk to my car i realise that the boy has seen alot but still manages to smile more the most people and still helps friends out. Thats what makes him a good friend. I smile to myself as i drive and think of his closing comment. "I don't need drugs to have a good time.............Though they do help" finishing with his trademark laugh.
*At Lloyd's request names have been changed.
Ian Mccreery
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